Valkyre

Happy Birthday Bob Hope!

Happy 100th Birthday, Mr. Hope!

Summer Courses For Men

My sister sent me the following in my e-mail:

SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN
OFFERED AT COMMUNITY COLLEGES

DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY OF COURSE CONTENTS, ....
EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A MAXIMUM OF 8 PARTICIPANTS.

How to Fill-Up the Ice Cube Trays.
Step by Step, ... with Slide Presentation.

The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the
Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.

Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Helpline Support and Support Groups.

Learning How to Find Things.
Looking in the Right Places Instead of Turning the House
Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum.

Bringing her Flowers is Not Harmful to Your Health.
Graphics and Audio tapes.

Real Men ask for Directions When Lost.
Real Life Testimonials.

Is it Possible to Sit Quietly While she Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and Role-Playing.

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy.
Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other
Important Dates, & Calling When You're Going to be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

The Stove/Oven.
What it is, ... and How it's Used. Live Demonstration.

** Upon completion of the courses, diplomas will be issued to the
survivors.**

Domestic Unicorns

Okay, okay..... I have to admit, I was half asleep this morning. It seemed like it was longer than a three day weekend. And, I had already fallen out of my routine. I was tired this morning. And, I wasn't even able to finish one whole cup of coffee when I had to take the girls to school. So, you might understand why I thought the large truck that passed in front of me, with a bright red circle, with some cursive lettering in it, said, Domestic Unicorns. Say what? I blinked my eyes several times and read it again. Domestic Uniforms. If it had really been domestic unicorns, I wonder if they are more superior to foreign unicorns?

Yum!

Although, this is supposed to be a day of rememberance, a lot of people feel that it is the official kick-off to summer. So, we celebrated that part by having barbequed top sirloin steak with red potato salad and corn on the cob. Mike and I washed it down with wine. It was delicious. We haven't had barbequed steak in ages.

Memorial Day 2003

A big heartfelt Thank You to all who have served and are in service right now for this country. There was a nice article in today's paper, written by Paul Wenske of the Kansas City Star.

Just A Lazy Day

I'm just goofing off today. We are sitting around watching movies. I grabbed a DVD, I hadn't seen in awhile. Shrek. After that, I went through our LaserDisc collection and found one I hadn't seen in a long time. Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Right now, we are watching the end of Babe, the Gallant Pig. Don't know what we are going to watch next. I'm just going through and grabbing whatever catches my eye.

Cursed Cars

In my last entry, I posted about the horrid noises coming from my Escort. Well, yesterday, they were at their worst. It was constant. A loud squeal that came from the front passenger side wheel, everytime the car moved. You could even hear it with the windows rolled up and the stereo on. Using the brakes did not help. The sound just changed. It was rather embarassing as people kept staring at me when I drove by them. Anyway, as I was bringing the kids home from school on the freeway, it stopped. It just went away. Just like that. Which bothers me more than the sound itself. It's too quiet now. The car is still going to go in tomorrow and get it brakes looked it. They don't charge for that.

Now, the other cursed car. The Camaro. For reasons I won't get into right now, it hardly ever gets driven at night. Because of this, we never replaced the headlight that burned out over six months ago. So, today, I decided to replace it, since I have to take the car out tomorrow and won't get back until after nightfall. But, I couldn't remember which headlight had burned out. It has been that long. So, I pulled the switch to see which one needed replacing.... They both came on.... I know that it had been burned out, I took it out on Christmas Eve, and realizing that I only had one working light, I flicked on the brights, which I hated doing. (Especially when I pulled behind the CHP car and he adjusted his rearview mirror due to the brightness. Doh!) But no, now the light is working again. Maybe it's gremlins.

Squeal! Squeal! Squeal!

Argh! It always happens this way!!!! Whenever we seem to get ahead financially, one of the cars goes and does something that will need repairing$. Today, it was the Escort. I've noticed, for the past several months, that there has been a slight rubbing sound coming from the passenger side of the car. Yesterday, I noticed that it was becoming a little louder. Then, occasionally, the rubbing sounds became a squeal that would cut in and out. Today, it is now a steady squeal, that only stops when I apply the brake. Mike came out and listened to it and told me that it's probably the brake shoe on the front passenger side wheel. So, the car has to go down to the brake shop this weekend. I hope it's not that expensive. Last time, on my Camaro, the whole brake system had to be rebuilt at the cost of $600.00. (At that time, though, it was making grinding noises, not squealing, when I applied the brakes.)

Baby Shower

Well, today was the baby shower for my niece. I think that this is the first one that I have even attended after the baby was born. I bought her a Diaper Genie, which was on her wish list over at babiesrus.com. The baby has been moved to a different ward at the hospital. It is still an intensive care ward, but of a lower level. They have even started to bottle feed her. My niece is counting the days until she can finally bring her baby home.

Bad Accident (Didn't Involve Me)

Sometimes, when I am late leaving the house to pick up Jeren and Teresa from school, I will take the freeway. When I exit the freeway, I need to take this street that is two lanes each way. It runs between an oil refinery and a regional park on the other side. Because of this, there is never any cross traffic for about a mile and a half. Since there is no cross traffic, people have a tendency to speed down this road. It is posted 40, but the average is 55. I've seen some people doing 80+. At one point, there is a large curve. I've always wondered what would happen if someone was going way too fast, fail to negotiate that curve and drive into oncoming traffic. I found out today. I came upon the recent aftermath of a head on collision. A Mercedes Benz and a red car, whose make I could not indentify, due to it being damaged beyond recognition. The fire department had just arrived, along with the Highway Patrol. As we drove past, the accident scene, more rescue vehicles were approaching from different directions. Including a paramedic unit and an ambulance. I bet they needed to cut the people out of their cars. They were in that bad of shape. I hope there were no fatalities. But, looking at the condition of both vehicles, that would almost be some kind of miracle. It kind of shook me up and made me realize just how vulnerable you are out there driving.

Just One More? Please?

Augh!!!! I have no willpower! I'm weak! My daughters went to Disneyland this past weekend. While there, they went to a candy shop and bought me a large bag of salt water taffy. They know that this is my favorite candy. My number one weakness. I put the bag up on top of the refridgerator to make it a little more difficult to access and maybe stop me from pigging out. Does it help? No!!!!! Every time I get up to do something, I walk by the 'fridge and grab some candy. I can't resist! Do they have 12 step programs for this kind of addiction!?

Someone's Getting A Facelift!

And it's not me! They are going to redesign the $20 bill. They are going to add a little color. Which is supposed to make it harder to counterfeit. We will have to wait and see if this is successful.

20th Anniversary!? (Now, I Feel Old!)

ABC showed this last night. It was the 20th Anniversary of the movie. They added some extra features, etc. Throughout the whole movie, I kept thinking, "I saw this when it first came out! It couldn't have possibly been 20 years ago!!!!" But, at least I was a teenager back then! I remember, not so much the movie, but the fact that I went to see it with a bunch of people from work. We went in my car. It was a 4 passenger car, barely. Room enough for 2, but the back 2 seats were a joke. Anyway, 9 of us, yes, 9 of us, crammed into my car to drive to the theater to see this. That was back before seat belts were mandatory.

I'm Going To Hell!!!

According to this website:

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Mother's Day

Since this will be my niece's first Mother's Day, I thought I would use the occasion to post another picture of her baby. And post an update. When she was born, she weighed 3 1/2 pounds. But, I found out today, that they removed the feeding tube for some reason. It had something to do with her lungs. This was soon after she was born. So, she actually dropped down to about 3 pounds. But, since she is back on the feeding tube, she is back up to 3 pounds, 4 ounces right now. And, she is gaining more weight with every day that passes. Hopefully, she will be going home soon.

One Way to Show Displeasure

Was reading article's on CNN's, site and came across this one. Seems this guy is upset at the Avondale Estates Historic Preservation Commission, because they wouldn't let him add a "rounded front stoop" to a house he's renovating. So, he called a couple of painters to paint his house bright green with purple polka-dots. (Maybe he should add some pink flamingos!)

Amusing Spam

I get this one occasionally. It always makes me laugh. A spam/junk e-mail letting me know that I can eradicate spam or junk e-mail!

Grandniece Update

Well, here's a baby update. I wanted to correct some mis-information. I got an updated e-mail from my sister this morning. The babies name is Berlyn Marie Johnson. I had it spelled as Berlin from the first e-mail my sister sent out. She was 2 1/2 months premature and not 3 months. She did weigh 3 1/2 pounds and measured 16 inches in length. Her mother was allowed to go home, but Berlyn is still in the hospital. She won't be allowed to go home until she weighs somewhere around 5 1/2 to 6 pounds. She also still has a feeding tube that is giving her some kind of formula. This is a picture of her with her dad.

First Pictures

My sister sent the first pictures of my niece's daughter via e-mail this morning:

Unfortunately, most of the pictures were blurry. But, there were ones of both Mom and Dad holding her. She is so tiny. When she was born, (three months early), she only weighed 3 1/2 pounds. She is now breathing on her own, no more respirator. She still has a feeding tube, though. It is inserted through one of her nostrils. Each day that goes by, she gets stronger and stronger.

Our Handsome Boy

Was looking through my photos and came across this one of our cat, Tripod. You can't really see it in the photo, but he only has three legs. He was actually born with four, but one was malformed. It was all of about one inch long and had a single claw that kept getting caught in things. So, we had the stump removed. He gets around fine on three legs. I call him Handsome Boy most of the time, because he's so beautiful.